This is so hard to say. We’ve been together for such a long time now, which makes it even harder…I’m breaking up with you, Michaels.
We had some good times. When I got those weekly 40% Off the Price of Any Item Coupons (excluding sale items, magazines, books, Martha Stewart items, Cricut items, clearance items, or anything else you want), I couldn’t wait to hook up with you. It was intoxicating.
I remember the first time I introduced you to the Little Nugget. She gasped “Oh Mommy, look at all the colors!!!” I knew just how she felt. We both thought you were “the one”. But something happened. I don’t know. Maybe you started phoning it in. Maybe I just raised my standards. But all I know is I need someone that can give me what I need.
I’ve started seeing another store. It’s locally owned. There, I’ve said it. Their beads are all drilled on center. And the holes are straight.
But we can still be friends, right? I’m sure I’ll need some craft paints or a new sketch book from time to time. And hey, you’re the only place I can get butter rum Life Savers, so we’ve still got that.
Take care of yourself, Michaels. It was good knowing you.